What do you call it when anytime a happy thought crosses your mind, you hear a love song, find yourself smiling for no reason, or drift away to a perfect daydream, you think of him.
Some people would call it a crush, but I know it's more than that. You make me feel much to deeply to be anything superficial. There isn't a single hint of anything superficial between us... this, whatever it is, is real. That I'm sure of... but a crush, this is not a crush.
Other people might call it lust. But I want to spend time and just sit next to you. I want you to come over to my place and spend the day together. Cuddle on the couch with a blanket during rainy weather. Drive around with you for hours wandering away to nowhere. I want to argue with you about absolutely nothing so we can kiss and make up. I want to hang around with your friends and share weekends of hazy, drunken, memories. And then go get some hangover fried food, and sleep the rest of the headaches away with you. It's so far beyond physical, this is not lust.
Some might call it love. But I'm not sure if you can truly love someone if they don't love you back and as far as I'm concerned, love isn't worth it unless it's true. So I guess what I'm saying is that the way I feel and think about you is heading in that direction, but I would never call it love.
So what is this? I've never been one to be fed up with "titles" and "definitions", but with you somehow everything I've worked hard to believe and trust just fades to dust. Maybe I don't need a title or definition, in fact I'm sure I don't need it.
I think what I really want is for you to feel as strongly as I do. For you to tell me something to give me a clue. For you to let down your guard to give this a try. Because I'm confident we would be great. We could be something amazing, something that inspires love in others. We could be those people who grow old together and and still hold hands at every chance they get. We could see the world together and find a life somewhere where only we would dream of. We could support each other in all of our dreams and goals. We could do it all... we could conquer this world.
So what I want, what I need is for you to take that leap of faith. I promise you the first step is the hardest, but I can also gaurentee that as soon as you take that chance I will be right beside you, ready to take on whatever is thrown our way.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Green
Green
like a hummingbird or dragonfly, a specifically peculiar beauty.
like the life that lets all nature grow.
The stem of the dandelions on which I wish my most secret wishes.
The leaves of the flowers that remind me daily of the scenes that changed me forever.
My curtains that let in the sunshine to welcome me every morning.
The color of my favorite, most honest, pair of eyes.
Strength and vigor, a family thing.
Springtime of my college years as the Apple Blossoms bloom.
The jealousy within everyone.
The front of my hair to claim independence from all.
The color of summer.
like a hummingbird or dragonfly, a specifically peculiar beauty.
like the life that lets all nature grow.
The stem of the dandelions on which I wish my most secret wishes.
The leaves of the flowers that remind me daily of the scenes that changed me forever.
My curtains that let in the sunshine to welcome me every morning.
The color of my favorite, most honest, pair of eyes.
Strength and vigor, a family thing.
Springtime of my college years as the Apple Blossoms bloom.
The jealousy within everyone.
The front of my hair to claim independence from all.
The color of summer.
If I...
If I said you are too talented to be held down,
would you believe me?
If I said that I really think you could make something of yourself,
would you understand I'm being sincere?
If I told you these types of things,
would it make it real for you?
would you believe me?
If I said that I really think you could make something of yourself,
would you understand I'm being sincere?
If I told you these types of things,
would it make it real for you?
Monday, March 28, 2011
Risk It All
I lie here half clothed in my bed surrounded, engulfed, in blankets and pillows
I find myself thinking about you, and wishing you were here.
My bed feels so big without you, there's too much space.
I want you back here to fill that empty space.
I need you to block the sight of my blank white wall when I look to the right.
To my right, that is where you should be.
I try to focus my mind on other things, but it's brought straight back to you,
and the fact that you belong here. Next to me. Tonight.
Every night as far as I'm concerned.
My head belongs on your chest and your arms belong wrapped around my waist.
You're meant to play me music, and I'm meant to distract you when I start to dance.
And on those days when you lock yourself up in those practice rooms for hours and hours,
it's me who should bring you back to reality and try to make it just as sweet as your day dreams.
I want to be your living day dream.
I really think I could be your living day dream.
With each other we have so much to gain and nothing to lose.
I really feel like we each have what the other needs to find,
like the missing pieces of a puzzle turning up one day after you've thought they were lost forever.
You can drag me into your world of hopes and dreams
and I can pull you right out to show you,
that those hopes and dreams are right there in front of you,
Because I live my dreams out in real life, every day.
The only one missing right now is you.
You fulfill every secret dream that I've pushed away to the shadows of my soul.
And you gave me a taste of experiencing those dreams for real,
So now I'm left lying in my bed half naked, cuddling with blankets instead of you.
Wishing that you were here.
Because you're not, and I'm not sure why.
I want to know why you don't feel the same, or if you're too scared to try.
I know you have it in you, and I know that we would be right.
And if I'm even willing to put it on the line, it's probably something we ought to try.
I want you lying next to me.
I need you lying next to me, keeping me awake.
Waking me up with morning kisses as the sun peeks through my window,
and pulling me in tighter when you feel like the space between our bodies has gotten to wide.
I need you to kiss me so hard that I forget about everything else in the world,
and I need you to look at me with those eyes as if you couldn't see damn other thing,
no matter how hard you tried.
I promise if you give those moments back to me,
I will give you everything I have back in return.
I promise that you can all of me, whatever parts you want.
I'm willing to risk it all,
for you and only you.
I want to risk it all.
So tonight I'll lie here and sleep without you,
but tomorrow, starting tomorrow I'll show you
and prove to you that I'm going to risk it all.
I find myself thinking about you, and wishing you were here.
My bed feels so big without you, there's too much space.
I want you back here to fill that empty space.
I need you to block the sight of my blank white wall when I look to the right.
To my right, that is where you should be.
I try to focus my mind on other things, but it's brought straight back to you,
and the fact that you belong here. Next to me. Tonight.
Every night as far as I'm concerned.
My head belongs on your chest and your arms belong wrapped around my waist.
You're meant to play me music, and I'm meant to distract you when I start to dance.
And on those days when you lock yourself up in those practice rooms for hours and hours,
it's me who should bring you back to reality and try to make it just as sweet as your day dreams.
I want to be your living day dream.
I really think I could be your living day dream.
With each other we have so much to gain and nothing to lose.
I really feel like we each have what the other needs to find,
like the missing pieces of a puzzle turning up one day after you've thought they were lost forever.
You can drag me into your world of hopes and dreams
and I can pull you right out to show you,
that those hopes and dreams are right there in front of you,
Because I live my dreams out in real life, every day.
The only one missing right now is you.
You fulfill every secret dream that I've pushed away to the shadows of my soul.
And you gave me a taste of experiencing those dreams for real,
So now I'm left lying in my bed half naked, cuddling with blankets instead of you.
Wishing that you were here.
Because you're not, and I'm not sure why.
I want to know why you don't feel the same, or if you're too scared to try.
I know you have it in you, and I know that we would be right.
And if I'm even willing to put it on the line, it's probably something we ought to try.
I want you lying next to me.
I need you lying next to me, keeping me awake.
Waking me up with morning kisses as the sun peeks through my window,
and pulling me in tighter when you feel like the space between our bodies has gotten to wide.
I need you to kiss me so hard that I forget about everything else in the world,
and I need you to look at me with those eyes as if you couldn't see damn other thing,
no matter how hard you tried.
I promise if you give those moments back to me,
I will give you everything I have back in return.
I promise that you can all of me, whatever parts you want.
I'm willing to risk it all,
for you and only you.
I want to risk it all.
So tonight I'll lie here and sleep without you,
but tomorrow, starting tomorrow I'll show you
and prove to you that I'm going to risk it all.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Nothing To Say
When I have nothing to say and the words won't come out, it's the worst. I hate it.
But even worse, is when there are so many things racing through my mind and I really just don't want to write about it anymore.
You've taken over my mind.
I fail.
You win this round.
But even worse, is when there are so many things racing through my mind and I really just don't want to write about it anymore.
You've taken over my mind.
I fail.
You win this round.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
See You Tomorrow (I Want To)
I want to see you tomorrow. You make me look forward to my hardest of days because those are the times I see your smiling face. When you walk in I know you'll say Hi, smile, and leave me waiting there to die. It's so simple. So simple how a word and and smile can conquer years worth of walls, but with you, it's like being wrapped in your favorite blanket in the fall.
I can't wait to lock eyes in a knowing stare. What the knowledge is I'm unsure of, andt I don't even care. Cause when you look at me it's plain to see, those green eyes running through all the possibilities. Of hopes and dreams, and what we could be, but I know that I see it when you're looking at me.
You look at me, and it blows my mind because I see you as someone who is hard to find. You found a way to make my heart feel and with any other boy that reaction has never been real. Me, I'm just me plain to see. But those green eyes of yours have made me believe.
I can't wait to lock eyes in a knowing stare. What the knowledge is I'm unsure of, andt I don't even care. Cause when you look at me it's plain to see, those green eyes running through all the possibilities. Of hopes and dreams, and what we could be, but I know that I see it when you're looking at me.
You look at me, and it blows my mind because I see you as someone who is hard to find. You found a way to make my heart feel and with any other boy that reaction has never been real. Me, I'm just me plain to see. But those green eyes of yours have made me believe.
A Little Easier
It seems I have a heart not a hole in my chest,
or a block of ice like many had guessed.
Ever since you've come my way I breathe a little easier
smile a little wider, and leave the past at the door.
I don't feel the need to worry about where life has led me before.
or a block of ice like many had guessed.
Ever since you've come my way I breathe a little easier
smile a little wider, and leave the past at the door.
I don't feel the need to worry about where life has led me before.
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